


Galileo Foursome

by sidebyside_archivist



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Humor, Implied Q (Star Trek)/Q (Star Trek), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-01
Updated: 2000-09-01
Packaged: 2020-06-27 05:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebyside_archivist/pseuds/sidebyside_archivist
Summary: Q swirls Kirk & Spock away to the Delta Quadrant.





	Galileo Foursome

**Author's Note:**

> Note from LadyKardasi and Sahviere, the archivists: this story was originally archived at [Side by Side](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Side_by_Side_\(Star_Trek:_TOS_zine\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. We tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Side by Side’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sidebyside/profile).
> 
> Author's Note:  
> I AM writing a serious shuttlecraft, friends. But RL was a drag, so I thought I’d write a silly one too.

Spock noted absently that the captain was once again worrying the collar of his dress Grays. He understood that Kirk found the outfit uncomfortable, though he secretly admired the way the short jacket hugged the trim waist, and the trousers emphasized the muscular thighs. Secretly, secretly. Spock always 'dressed' left, in order to use the concealing capabilities of his tricorder to best advantage. It wouldn't do for his severely heterosexual best friend to know that his First Officer was in love with him. What was the human expression? "Head over heels." Spock had never investigated the etymology of the expression, but suspected it was rooted in romantic poetry, probably in an Early Germanic language, possibly Anglish itself...

"Woolgathering?" Kirk shifted in the right seat of the Galileo and smiled at Spock. "A penny for your thoughts."  
  
Months ago this would have been nonsense to the Vulcan. But he was learning quickly. "I was considering Early Germanic Poetry, sir. Have you ever read.."  
  
"Spare me, please. My literary history starts at Shakespeare." He sighed. "I'm glad the conference is over, but I wish I'd been smart enough to pack some other clothes. 2 days in this thing, I feel like a monkey."  
  
"You do not look like a monkey, despite your simian evolution," Spock offered, checking his course again on the navigational computer. With his eyes turned away he completely missed the strange look his commanding officer sent his way.  
  
Kirk fought the blush and turned away from Spock. It would never do for his 7-yearly straight unemotional Vulcan best friend to know that his Captain secretly longed for his narrow ass. Though the loss of circulation from his extra tight briefs was threatening him with impotence, he just couldn't follow McCoy's advice and switch to boxers; Spock would be shocked senseless if he became aware of how often the evidence of desire was visible. He rubbed a hand over the armrest of the co-pilot's seat and then carefully crossed his legs, staring at the ceiling. Well, at least Spock didn't think he looked like a monkey. Early Germanic Poets! Christ, the man's brain just never shut down.   
  
* * *  
  
"Look at them. Complete idiots." Q aimed a mental kick at Q, who settled in beside him and peered into the tiny ship. "Both of them want the other, neither one knows it! And both think it's noble and brave not to mention they love one another!"  
  
"They're mortals, what do you expect? Mortals are all stupid."  
  
"Oh don't be an ass, Q! I have a mortal in my future/now who's not stupid. And he tells me these two are/were lovers/spouses! I have to make our history agree somehow!"  
  
"Just... do it. Make them talk!"  
  
"It'd never work. Mortals always suspect that the things we make them do aren't _sincere_ in some way." Q chewed an imaginary lip for a moment. "Dammit, I'm just no good at matchmaking. What makes mortals admit undying love for one another, Q?"  
  
"Sex?" Q hazarded, being not as familiar with mortals as Q was. Q sneered.  
  
"It does, but first you have to get them to the point of having sex. I chased mine for 10 years before he caught on! These two don't even shake hands yet." He drummed his non-fingers on Q's non-head until the entity bit him, then exclaimed. "Eureka!"  
  
Q managed to look puzzled. "Only one I know of is in California on that guy's planet, and no one there EVER has sex."  
  
"Shut up. Not the place, the Greek word. I know what to do."  
  
"Share!"  
  
"Danger. People who think they're in danger... oh. Except they'd have to actually BE in danger, and they're relatively brave, for mortals, so they'd probably just bite their lips and die in ignorance."  
  
"Well, what about Adam and Eve? That worked pretty good, that 'only people on the world, go out and make babies' line..."  
  
"Idiot, these two can't make babies, they're both male."  
  
"How can you tell? Oh. Never mind." Q blushed.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute...." Q scratched his non-head, and his non-face split in a wide grin. "Survivor! A sort of non-reproductive Adam and Eve game! We maroon them somewhere, they have to work together to survive, their cloths fall apart and... and..."  
  
"They finally..."  
  
"See each other's stiffy!" The chorused together. Q chortled merrily. "I'm so clever."  
  
"Couldn't have done it without me! Where are you gonna send them?"  
  
"It doesn't really matter, does it? So long as they are, ahem, incommunicado... wait. Won't work."  
  
"Huh? How come?"  
  
"Well first of all, because history doesn't record that happening to them. Not that I mind changing history, much, but my mortal hates it! And secondly, that little machine thing they're riding only has a few day's air. No one's clothes fall apart in only a few days."  
  
"Oh, you're so fussy!" Q sent a thought, and the shuttlecraft disappeared.   
  
"Hey, this is my game!" Q roared in fury and tackled Q into a nearby sun, which promptly went nova (which is why the Enterprise never bothered looking for the Galileo). "Where did you send them?!"  
  
"Just over to the Delta Quadrant. Wanna go watch the fun? Oh, and I solved the problem of clothing."  
  
*  
  
Kirk noticed the shift in the view out the window and the shift in air temperature simultaneously, and turned to stare at Spock. "Spock..." he began, meaning to say something like 'what the hell just happened' but stopping when he saw his First Officer staring at him back. Naked as the day he was born. And... Kirk blushed crimson and made a supreme effort to keep his eyes up.  
  
Spock examined his Captain carefully, the spatial dislocation temporarily forgotten in the light of new data. He cleared his throat, which had a strangely strangling quality about it suddenly. He couldn't manage to get his eyes off of the evidence of Kirk's arousal. "You. Are. Naked."   
  
"So are you, Spock," Kirk replied, and his voice seem to have the same strangled quality. "Very, very naked."  
  
Spock glanced down and realized that his tricorder had failed him by several inches. "Uh, we seem to be in the same predicament."  
  
"What the hell happened, Spock?" Kirk finally managed, averting his eyes and gazing out the front window. "Was it a wormhole?"  
  
"Negative," Spock replied instantly, gratefully scanning the console readouts. "There are no signature radiations indicating any known form of dislocation. Nor does the navigational computer recognize any of the near star groups..."  
  
"Which means that we're beyond its programmed range of 20,000 light years?" Kirk's mouth worked silently for a moment. "That is not possible."  
  
"There are always possibilities, Captain. While it is not possible by any science we know, it has happened. Ergo it is possible."  
  
Kirk looked again at the Vulcan again, and glanced at the huge, green, bobbing erection. "That happen to you often?" he asked. Spock looked down, and flushed to the tips of his ears.  
  
"Frequently," he admitted, then met his Captain's eyes. "And you?"  
  
"More often than I'd care to admit," Kirk responded honestly, then reached over and touched Spock's arm. "I've often wondered... I thought your cycle..."  
  
"The urge to mate and procreate is quite different from the feelings I hold for you, Captain. I suspect that this is a byproduct of my human blood. However, I am surprised by your reaction to me. I have always considered you exclusively heterosexual."  
  
"Just because I'm not attracted to human men doesn't mean I can't be attracted to you, Spock," Kirk replied in a deep, throaty voice that made Spock quiver. "Is there any way you can think of to get us home?"  
  
"No. The shuttlecraft's resources are insufficient to make the journey. Additionally, I have scanned for planets within the range of the shuttlecraft, and found none that will support us. Therefore we have 2.5 days of breathable air before we both expire."  
  
Kirk blinked, and found that his breath was already very rapid. "I am glad that I discovered... what have I discovered, Spock? Do you, is it possible that you..."  
  
"Love you? Yes, Captain, that is precisely what has happened. May I make the same assumption about you?"  
  
"You may." They sat staring at each other for long minutes, then Kirk rose and put a hand on Spock's shoulder. "I suggest we put those 2.5 days to good use, Mr. Spock. It will be almost worth dying to have known...Will you join me in the..." he caught himself before saying 'rear' and coughed slightly, "passenger cabin? I think it'll be more comfortable."  
  
"I admit to a deep curiosity about how that..." Spock brushed a light hand over Kirk's erection, and noted that it made the human gasp and flinch, "...would feel."  
  
"I'd love to explore the reverse," Kirk replied. "Come along, Mr. Spock."  
  
"I certainly expect to," he replied evenly, and was rewarded by a swift double-take from the human.  
  
*   
  
Q giggled. "There. You owe me a forfeit, I got them to admit it in less than 5 minutes!"  
  
"Show off. Wow, look at that, they're all over each other!" Q goggled at the entwined limbs, then nudged Q. "I don't suppose you've ever done that?"  
  
"Eewwww! Certainly not!" Q, despite his protest, was watching avidly. "Have you?"  
  
"Oh, sure, it's one of my favourites! I don't suppose you have a human body in your repertoire?" He nudged Q again, and followed with a wink.  
  
"Q! Knock it off. Look, you've got them where you want them, can't we just send them back now and you can go play hide the sausage with your mortal? Wow, look at that. Doesn't that hurt?"  
  
The Vulcan, sharply telepathic, may have picked up on Q's 'sausage' comment, for he was greedily hiding his own up the human's backside. The human didn't seem to mind, pushing backward eagerly. Q shivered.   
  
"About that human body?"  
  
"You didn't answer my question. Does it hurt?"  
  
"Not if you do it to me, Q. Oh, come on! I can't send them back until they're finished with the 'afterglow' portion, and I'm hornier than a Tellarite at an all-you-can-eat!"  
  
"Oh, very well. Will this do?" A snap, and then Q began to pout.   
  
"Not fair. Can't you choose someone other than my mortal for me to be adulterous with?"  
  
"Just kidding. How's this one?"  
  
"That's me! Ooohhh, very kinky. I think I like it. Now hold still."


End file.
